Quoted from One's first comment: "I might even have a touch of it [social anxiety] myself: ie, reading over the situations they listed their left me feeling stressed out and sick. IE: talking on the phone to anyone except those closest to me stresses me out and I usually have to pace for a while before I make the call running over and over what I am going to say. Then afterwards I go over and over what I said and I worry about what they thought, etc."I do that exact thing with the phone, too! Also, the going over what I said thing, I do for pretty much every applicable situation, so I definitely know what that's like.
Quoted from One's first comment: "I am curious to know more about the cognitive behavioral therapy they talked about. Do you know anything about it?"From what I understand of CBT, it is an attempt to replace negative thoughts with more positive, realistic thoughts.
Example of negative thought: "I said the wrong word, I should have said something else instead... Oh no, I bet I've offended her and now she's mad at me..."
Example of a more positive thought: "Okay, I misspoke, but she probably knows it was just a small error on my part, and it probably wasn't enough to offended her. After all, she knows that everybody makes little mistakes like that once in a while."
Quoted from One's second comment:"I'm interested to know more about the lyrics thing. Is it because of the poetic nature of songs (in which interpretation is left up to the listener) that you find the lyrics hard to understand? Or that you literally can't understand what they're saying because you're focused on listening to the musical patterns?"Both, though I was mostly referring to the poetic/interpretation aspect.
*Edit* I realize that I got horrendously off topic here with my answer, lol. I can't play lyrics in front of someone because I don't know how they will interpret it. I don't want to play something that might offend someone, but I don't know what would offend someone, so I don't play anything, unless I am extremely sure that they won't be offended. So, umm, the rest of this post isn't so much about the original post I made, but more about how I see lyrics. *End of edit*
When I can make out the words, but don't know the meaning, that is what is bothersome. (Though with some songs, even knowing the meaning is bothersome.) When I can't tell what words they are saying, that does not bother me - though one annoying thing that has happened is, the radio will be on and the singer's voice will be unintelligible. But after listening for a while, my mind starts to 'sync' with the singer's words and decode them, and I suddenly understand the words. This drives me crazy, and usually ruins my enjoyment of the song (since the songs that are unintelligible are often rap or similar styles with un-tasteful lyrics). However, it is especially nice when the lyrics are not English, because my mind cannot 'sync'/decode them, and I can enjoy the whole song, guaranteed.
Allow me to explain. You know about my particular synesthesia, how I 'see' music? Each instrument/type of sound has a different shape, and it moves according to what notes it is hitting. The size is typically determined by how loud the sound is. 'Watching' music is where I derive nearly all of my enjoyment of music - these abstract shapes I see are very entertaining/absorbing/relaxing/whatever, unless it's a genre of music that I don't like. (For instance, I don't like country music - even if it didn't have lyrics - because the shapes tend to be rougher and grainier, and they tend to be brownish and boring.)
When I understand the words being said, my mind shifts away from the abstract shapes and more into a sort of 'music video' sort of thing. For instance, if it's about a guy breaking up with his girlfriend, I'll see some guy breaking up with his girlfriend (boring!), instead of those cool abstract shapes. Well, I shouldn't say instead, I should say that it really distracts me from the abstract shapes when my mind can understand the words and is trying to make sense of them.
However, when my mind does not understand the words (like, when it's in another language), then the voice simply becomes another part of the music and takes on its own shape and motion, and thereby adds to the music.
If I concentrate, I can see the voice as a shape, even when I understand the words. But my mind does not do this by default; I have to be choosing to do it the entire time I understand the words.
Umm, so I kind of rambled on that last one, hah. I don't know if you'll understand entirely, but, if you maybe get just a little more of an idea, it'd be worth posting it.
Wow! Excellent post! I regret that I didn't check in sooner. I was postponing disappointment in case noone had written anything, but you had.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I'm jealous of you all's computer skills, putting in links here and there, etc.
ReplyDeleteRegarding: Example of a more positive thought: "Okay, I misspoke, but she probably knows it was just a small error on my part, and it probably wasn't enough to offended her. After all, she knows that everybody makes little mistakes like that once in a while."
ReplyDeleteOften when I'm worked up and/or worrying about something, Patrick says something like this. He thinks this way as a matter of course. He chooses to believe a more positive interpretation. Four, you do this too, don't you?
Next time I see you I can show you how to do links and stuff if you want.
ReplyDeleteIt would really surprise me if Four does not think like that, I believe she does, too. I can only think like that if the situation involves one of you guys, our siblings.
Your particular brand of Synesthesia..I like it. My only means for relating to what you said was an experience I had at the Symphony. The room was dark, we were close to the stage, within rows, and on one particular piece, I saw the music in brilliantly colored, moving patterns. That's not my normal experience but then I don't usually filter every other sensation out except for the music. It makes sense then, that if you have that experience going, it would be extremely annoying to have it messed up by words. I get that. It's pretty cool that you can experience that (the synesthesia) whenever you want.
ReplyDeleteOne, it's funny, when I was reading Seven's post about CBT, I told her that I did that on my own when I was in school. I normally think the positive direction, however sometimes I don't. It often depends on my thoughts/feelings about the person. If I don't know someone, then the default is positive, unless I've picked up some cues that tell me differently. The other thing that I've taught myself was, "it doesn't matter if they don't like me."
ReplyDeleteThe Synesthesia thing is seriously cool, Seven. I have never had any visual experience while listening to music. (unless it's a music video) For me its about singing along and harmonies.
ReplyDeleteI like harmonies, they look beautiful <3
ReplyDeleteI like that Four, I'm going to use that. (It doesn't matter if they don't like me.)
ReplyDelete